The Single Thing My Teacher Told Me That Stuck With Me: WHY YOU SHOULD BE PROUD TO BE CALLED A GEEK

Hello again beautiful people. 

So this week I was talking to an old school friend who was lamenting about all the things that we don't get taught in school. This got me thinking back to when I was a secondary school student and the first thing that came to mind was an assembly that my headteacher led on tackling bullying. 

For me it seemed that the entire assembly was based around one thing that she said:

"Be nice to geeks, you will either become one, or end up working for one"

While the "geek" movement has started to become slightly more fashionable in recent years with technology taking over the World and shows like "The Big Bang Theory" being popular, the reality in schools is that the word still has negative connotations and is more often than not used as a way to put people down. 

If someone has a particular passion or interest, particular one that makes them different, they can be called an "insert field geek". When I was at school I often her terms like "art geek", "book geek", "band geek", "math geek", "science geek" and "computer geek" as well as people applying the general word to people they didn't like, didn't understand or didn't want to associate with. 

The saddest thing was that these terms were often applied to students who were particularly good at something and who loved to learn and get better. They had a focus for a particular interest that brought out a natural sparkle in them. But when this word was applied to them, it reinforced the idea that this thing that made them who they are was somehow undesirable or weird. As a result they hid their talents, they may have even quit. It dulled their sparkle.

As I think back to my school days, I remember several student's who would begin to talk enthusiastically about a certain subject, only to stop themselves midway and apologise for it. Looking back, this makes me angry. We know how crucial social support is to young people's development and confidence and by using this term we lesson that. 

The word geek has been used for years to describe someone who is usually considered different, an outsider or unpopular. It can make them feel that the thing they are passionate about is weird and that no one else will like them for it. Yet as we get older we see some of the most successful individuals are those that have kept their passions and enhanced what makes them different. 

We see a lot of young people who think they have no marketable skills or that do not know how to stand out. Many psychologists believe that the best way to start discovering our passions or purpose is to think back to what made us happy as children. This can often help us discover innate talents that we have long suppressed and forgotten. 

I'm a firm believer that we are all geeks about something, whether we have discovered it yet or not.  As you might have guessed I am a geek about all things to do with psychology and self-improvement. But what if I told you that I was also a humongous  Harry Potter geek and that I love to write Fan-Fiction and spend much of my time at local libraries because I like to read more books than I can afford. Some of you may think that's sad or weird or uninteresting but thats OK because these are the things that make me sparkle and add joy to my life.

The fact is that successful people know their geek-dom, they know what makes them tick and include it in their life in some way, either as a career or a hobby. 

For me, the message in this quote is clear. Don't ever feel like you have to dull down your intelligence or hide what makes you who you are in order to please others or conform to shallow ideas of what is mainstream or popular. Learn what ignites your sense of geek and be proud of it, not only will it make you more resilient and grow your confidence to not change yourself based on what other's think, but that thing you love might just be the thing that drives your happiness and makes you feel successful and fulfilled throughout your life. 

Hold on to your sense of geek, develop it and be proud of it, show off what makes you different, or the chances are you will end up working for someone who does. 

I hope you all have a happy, healthy and productive day and I will see you soon. 

15 Ted Talks Everyone Should Watch.

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to talk about one of the best free personal development resources out there: Ted Talks. 

A lot of people often say that they wish they could learn from the experts. Ted X Talks not only highlight to us who the real experts in our fields of interest are, they enable us to learn from their teachings and struggles and introduces us to new concepts that we may not otherwise have access to.

If you don't know what a Ted Talk is then you are missing out. The Ted X Convention is one of the biggest gatherings of inspiring professionals and motivational speakers in the world! The best part?All Ted Talks from the conventions are filmed and available for free on their YouTube channel!

Without further ado, here are my 30 top Ted Talks that I believe everyone should watch and learn from. 

1.  Dan Gilbert -"Why are we happy? Why Arent We Happy?"

The author of "Stumbling On Happiness" discusses the way our brain works and introduces the concept of our "psychological immune system"

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/top10

2.  Elizabeth Gilbert -"Your Exclusive Creative Genius"

"Eat, Pray, Love" author Elizabeth Gilbert discusses the impossible things we expect from the artists and geniuses in the world and shares her radical belief that there is a genius in all of us.It's a funny, personal inspiring and motivating talk.

http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius/transcript?language=en

3. Dan Pink -"The Puzzle of Motivation"

Inspiring career analyst Dan Pink talks about the techniques that social scientists have discovered that most of us don't know. He tells a collection of illuminating stories that demonstrate that our traditional rewards system is not as effective as we think. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrkrvAUbU9Y&index=11&list=PL70DEC2B0568B5469

4. Brené Brown - "The Power of Vulnerability"

This talk on our ability as humans to empathise, love and belong is one that everyone needs to see. 

Brené Brown candidly shares the principles she has learned from a career dedicated to studying human connection and her personal quest to understand both herself and humanity. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o&index=10&list=PL70DEC2B0568B5469

5.  Patti Dobrowolski -"Draw Your Future"

Widely recommended as one of the best Ted Talks of all time, this is one that radically changed my views on what I wanted in my future.

 In this video Patti Dobrowski not only tells but actually shows you the practical steps to drawing out a plan for your future. The  nationally acclaimed comic performer, high-performance business consultant, speaker, strategic illustrator and new author has spent much of her time focused on neuroscience and studying how we can use the power of imagination and visual aids to drive change. She works with highly respected coaches and Fortune 500 companies to develop new and creative strategies that help them to capture and clarify their vision. 

6. Kristin Neff -"The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion"

Kristen Neff has devoted over ten years of her research career as an Associate Professor in Human Development and Culture to studying the mental health benefits of self-compassion. In this video she discusses the importance of being your own best friend and treating yourself with the same kindness and care that we provide to others. She also defines the difference between having self-esteem and having self-compassion and how this impacts our well-being. Furthermore she touches on the roots of several of today's issues concerning the self such as the increase in narcissism and bullying. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4&index=2&list=PLcQO1xV4Jap673UR0CPYEyWX8MaKE9Rsl

7. Johnathan Fields - "Turning Fear Into Fuel" 

Jonathan Fields is a former private equity attorney turned lifestyle-entrepreneur, blogger, marketer, speaker and author of Career Renegade: How to Make a Great Living Doing What You Love(Broadway 2009).

In this video he provides and excellent explanation and understanding of how fear and anxiety affects us and teaches us how to overcome the paralysis of fear and turn it into a fuel for taking action. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkFRwhJEOos&index=4&list=PLcQO1xV4Jap673UR0CPYEyWX8MaKE9Rsl

8. Eduardo Briceno -"The Power of Belief - Mindset and Success"

In this video Bricerno talks about how the way we view and rate our intelligence and skills can deeply impact on our success. It tackles important questions like why the majority of us avoid challenges and give up when things get hard and discusses learning orientated behaviours that can help us to achieve our goals. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pN34FNbOKXc&index=6&list=PLcQO1xV4Jap673UR0CPYEyWX8MaKE9Rsl

9. Daniel Amen -"Change Your Brain, Change Your Life"

Daniel is an MD and one of the World's foremost experts on brain imaging and how our brains work. He is well known for tacking complex concepts in brain science and explaining them in a way that is accessible and easy to understand for the rest of us. He has written 42 articles and 28 books on how having an understanding of the brain can help us live a healthier and happier life and shares these revelations in his talk. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLKj1puoWCg&index=8&list=PLcQO1xV4Jap673UR0CPYEyWX8MaKE9Rsl

10. Scott Geller - "The Psychology of Self-Motivation"

Geller is a highly decorated psychologist who has published numerous articles on his research behind The Psychology of Motivation. In this talk he gives practical and accessible advice on how we too can become more self-motivated. 

11.  Dr Ivan Joseph - "The Skill of Self-Confidence" 

As an Athletic Director and Recruiter, Dr Joseph works with leading young athletes for whom self-confidence is a necessity. In this talk he discusses simple questions based on leading research into the concept of self-efficacy and how asking ourselves these questions can make us feel empowered and confident. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-HYZv6HzAs&list=PLyh3ahjxzUJmzsAt-HhaWaYDUtH-SdFPG&index=6

12. Peter Sage - "Stop Waiting For Life To Happen"

Peter Sage is a leading success coach that helps companies all over the World and also served as the Chairman of the London YES Group (The largest personal development organisation In the World!) He shares his driving secrets behind successful entrepreneurship and how they can be applied to any aspect of our lives. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-HYZv6HzAs&list=PLyh3ahjxzUJmzsAt-HhaWaYDUtH-SdFPG&index=6

13. Brian Little - "Who Are You Really? The Puzzle of Personality" 

Most psychologists like to talk about our personality traits as if they are set. In this video Brian Little explains why there is so much more to our personality than being an introvert or an extrovert. He also explains how our traits are far more malleable than we believe and introduces the concept of transcending our traits in order to achieve more. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYvXk_bqlBk


14. Robert Waldinger - "What Makes A Good Life: Lessons From The Longest Study Of Happiness"

Waldinger has conducted the longest ever study on human life and happiness spanning seventy-five years and multiple generations with the help of continuously passionate researchers. 
In this video he shares what each of his participants thought made them happy and how these changed over time as they continued to experience life. 
In his talk he shares the secrets on what makes us happiest and healthiest in our lives and the answers may surprise you. 

15. Caroline McHugh "The Art of Being Yourself"

In this talk McHugh gives insights on how we develop from children and generally lose our real selves as we become more self-conscious and look at ourselves through the lenses of mainstream society. She provides important insights into the psychological developments of our ego and how learning to be authentic can provide the much needed balance between those of us who have a superiority complex and feelings of inferiority. 


I hope you enjoy these talks and are able to take away the life lessons they give.