The Four Pillars of Habit Building Series: Pillar No 4!

Good Morning Everyone,

I hope your Monday morning has been manic-free so far. I don't know about you but I was less than happy this morning when my partner kicked me out of bed as he left for work at 5.30am!

Things brings me onto the subject of our final pillar of habit building, Accountability. If you have been reading through this little mini-series so far then you know that  I have been posting about what I learned from the 4 Pillars of Habit Building that happiness queen, Gretchen Rubin,  identifies in her book: Better Than Before. If you've missed the other posts then you can find them all on the homepage. While they don't need to be read in order, one pillar will not keep a habit (or anything else) standing so I do recommend you check out all four and put them into practice together.

Right then. Accountability. I can hear the groans coming in already. Why is it, I wonder, that we are often so reluctant to tell others we are making a positive change to our lifestyle? My theory is that we have been conditioned to fear criticism and failure, when in fact both our powerful motivational tools. I will give you an example. I have been trying to implement a 5.30 wake up time for a few weeks now and while I still stay in bed too long until about 6am before rising, having my partner get up at 5.30 helps enormously. If he didn't agree to make an effort to wake me like I asked, I would continue to ignore my alarms until 6 or maybe even 6.30 and then wouldn't rise until 6.30 or 7am.

While I think it will take me a while before I naturally become a dawnbird, without this accountability I would have given up long ago, instead I am making progress. Each morning my partner wakes me I go to bed earlier and get closer to my goal.

You don't have to use a person for accountability, though they are in my opinion the most effective as we don't like to tell other people we haven't met their expectations. You could use an app, a diary or something else that fits with your habit.

However, if you do choose a person to hold you accountable, make sure you pick the right person. They need to be self-aware, supportive and compassionate and not make you feel bad on days you have slips. For example, if you are trying to lose weight, having someone close to you demand to know what you ate each day and whether or not you've been to the gym is not only going to not help you or make you feel good about yourself in any sense, it is also a quick path to obsessive and toxic interactions which nobody should have to deal with.

Make sure that whoever or whatever you choose to hold yourself accountable can do it without putting you down or making you feel bad about yourself. We all have slip days, even Gwyneth Paltrow admits to eating chocolate when she is stressed! Forgive yourself, be your own best friend and then try again.

The other thing I found with accountability is that it keeps expectations realistic, this is why people on diets are advised not to weigh themselves everyday but only once a week. If we are our only accountable to ourselves it is easy not only to create endless excuses but also to have unrealistic expectations and give up when they are not reached. Having a person or piece of technology to motivate you and create an identifiable streak of progression is much more likely to help you succeed in whatever it is you want to change.

And that brings us to the end of the Four Pillars of Habits, I hope you enjoyed reading this mini-series as much as I enjoyed writing it. To recap, habit formation succeeds when we have the right Foundation, are consistent in Monitering ourselves, create aids to our brains through Scheduling and have Accountability. 

Let me know in the comments if you found this series useful. I love to hear about your experiences and requests for future posts.

As always I hope you have a happy, healthy and productive week and I will see you soon.

Simplify Your Life For Success - How to Minimise The Decisions You Make Each Day

Hello Again Beautiful People.

So earlier this year I returned from a two-year trip around Australia and New Zealand. How is this relevant you're probably thinking? Well, during this time I had to do what many people struggle to imagine doing. I packed my entire life into a backpack. This led to my discovery of minimalism and my research into why so many people are adopting this new way of living. 

What is Minimalism?

Minimalism is a new age style of living supported by popular books such as "The Magic of Tidying Up" as well as incredibly successful people such as Arianna Huffington. It is the idea of decluttering your life and keeping only the things you find essential or that bring you joy. 

Here are some of the benefits I have found to living without clutter. 

1. Decluttering my wardrobe meant that I only kept my favourite clothes. I gave myself a hard and fast rule that anything I hadn't worn in the last 90 days had to go (except for formal outfits such as wedding outfits that I don't get the opportunity to wear as often). At first throwing out most of my clothes felt ridiculous, how would I decide what to wear everyday? Well, surprisingly, this is the exact point! Minimalism improves your productivity and mental state by minimising the decisions you have to make every day, such as what to wear to work. I know have 5 outfits in my wardrobe that I absolutely love and make me feel great from Monday to Friday. In case you're wondering, I kept 2 skirt suits and the blouses I wear under hem, 2 dresses with a blazer, one black and one navy pair of work shoes and one pair of smart trousers. The weirdest thing about this? I used to spend ages deciding what to wear only to select a variation of these outfits pretty much every day anyway as they were my favourites. 

2. I decluttered my room including all of my draws and cupboards, the space under my bed and my desk space. Sounds intimidating right? Well among the things I found were 12 unfilled notebooks, 3 bed sets from before my room was decorated years ago that I would never use, 3 unreturned library books from my old university library (I graduated nearly five years ago! OOPS!), An old broken fan, several presents that I had meant to re-gift but had forgotten about, a broken game boy that had to be at least ten years old, about a hundred useless pens, out of date make-up and much much more. Now I'm not the best at tidying so for years I had been shoving all of this stuff away rather than clearing it out. Once I did, there was a dramatic change in how much more grown up, open and tidy my room looked. All of my clothes now hang neatly on one rail, my desk space is tidy, I kept only what actually matches my new decor and It no longer takes me forever to find things because my draws aren't full of junk. 

3. I did the same with my kitchen and was amazed how many duplicate things me and my partner had created since moving in together. We had nearly twenty plates and bowls, for TWO people. Talk about unnecessary washing up! We also had several broken appliances including a defunct heart shaped fried egg maker, a broken blender as well as several tablecloths and old tea towels that had long been replaced. 

4. I blitzed the living room. I got rid of the lamp I had always hated, sorted all of my DVDs, BOOKS and CDs out and kept only the amount that fitted into cabinets or bookshelves as opposed to having stacks of them everywhere.

You know what they say, tidy house, tidy mind! 

5. I decluttered my email computer and email inbox. This might sound like a weird one but how many of you have to scroll through pages of old (or worse, junk!) emails or aged old files that you never use or might not even be yours. I had folders from my previous job, photos of past relationships I had no idea were still there and so many free subscriptions and promotions from when I was a student or became a member of a website newsletter for a 20% discount on something and got spammed in return (I'm talking to you ASOS and New Look!) 

6. I de-cluttered my relationships. This was by far the hardest to do! I finally let go of the one way friendships I had been holding onto since school or university where it was always me trying to keep in touch. I deleted the Facebook friends that only ever posted attention seeking or negative status's and I started saying no to the people who expected me to spend all my time doing things to please them but never reciprocated. The hard truth is that many of us are hanging on to toxic relationships or friendships. Ask yourself whether the people in your life are adding to it or taking away, and if you have someone that is family or too close to cut out of your life completely, then at least unfollow them on social media. The chances are they probably won't even notice and your head will be so much clearer without that negativity in your life. 

So how did minimalism improve my life? Well, I save time on daily decisions that are now insignificant, I focus better and am more productive because I have a clean workspace and it is such a relief to walk around my house and not be overwhelmed by piles of things i have been telling myself I would sort out. Most of all I know that the people in my life I spend my time on are the ones that return my love, appreciation and support. 


You may be thinking that I went to the extreme and that's OK but according to the experts even a small amount of decluttering can improve your mindset!

Once again, I hope you all have a happy, healthy and productive week and I will see you soon.