The Four Pillars of Habit Building Series: Pillar No 2: Monitering

Morning Everyone!

Welcome to Day 2 of my 4 Pillars of Habit Building series where I discuss what I learned from "Better Than Before" by the fabulous Gretchen Ruben.  (If you missed Day 1 then don't worry all of the posts will remain live on the home page and don't necessarily need to be read in order).

Yesterday we talked about Pillar no 1: Foundation and how it is essential to achieving sustainable habit change. Today, I want to delve into the second pillar, Monitering.

This pillar is all based around the concept that we manage what we monitor (and no this has nothing to do with your computer screen, sorry babe!)

Monitering is an observational strategy for habit building and it is based on the same train of thought that introduced us to food diaries, time-logs and the pedometer. When we constantly track what we are doing we are more likely to continue because we can easily see our changes and progress. 

Let's take the pedometer example. A pedometer measures how many steps you take in a day with the most common goal being 10,000. If, lets say, the first day you put it on you realize you are only achieving 8,000, steps this will make you more motivated to increase your steps the next day. Monitering is not only excellent for progress tracking and therefore motivation but it also lets us track plateaus so we know when to get off our a**es and shake things up. 

This is also the same concept that drives goal-setting theory. In order to achieve our goals we must make sure they are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely). By monitoring the habits we are trying to change we are invoking the core concept of measuring our goals. Furthermore this has a collateral effect, as measuring our progress helps to make sure our goals are timely and realistic, making us less likely to give up out of impatience. 

Monitering also develops self-awareness, studies show that many people did not realize most of their detrimental eating habits existed until they were told to diarise everything they put in their mouths. In turn, having self-awareness is critical to improving our self-control. As the age-old saying goes, the first step to solving a problem, is admitting you have one. This is also true for habits, if you are unable to be aware of and critically analyse a habit, the chances of you changing it are much slimmer.

Finally, monitoring allowed me to track the things that diminished my self-awareness and therefore my self control. For example, I realized that when I drank alcohol, I spent more money, lost more sleep and craved foods I didn't want.

So how can you monitor your habit changes? There are several apps that can do this for you as well as other technology, particularly if your goals are diet and exercise focused. You could also create a spreadsheet, or if you're old school like me, use good old-fashioned pen and paper!

Let me know what strategies work for you for keeping yourself in check in the comments, I'd love to hear them! Also, don't forget to check back tomorrow to find out how you can use Pillar No 3: Scheduling. 

I hope you all have a happy, healthy and productive day and I will see you soon!

The 4 Pillars of Habit Building Series: Pillar No 1

Morning beautiful people!

In this series I will be delving a bit deeper into the concepts of habit building. The fact is we all have habits we could change to improve our lives but many of us don't know how or where to start or what to do to help them stick. 

Well, the fabulous Gretchen Rubin has once again come to our rescue by showing us the four pillars of habit building. First things first, if you haven't heard of Gretchen and her books I recommend you pause reading this blog post right now, go find her books and follow her on everything. Why? Because her material is pretty much your Foundation Degree In Happiness and Habit Building. 

So, what are these pillars? Well through extensive research undertaken on both herself and others, Rubin has identified 4 areas that she calls "Pillars". Supposedly, mastering these areas has a positive rolling effect on other changes we may want to make in our lives. By developing these habits first, she writes, we will be much more effective in changing those smaller, niggling, habits that we have always wanted to banish. 

These four magical areas, she has termed "The Pillars Of Habits". 

Now, I always read this kind of material through a critical lens. Why do i do this? Well mostly, because everyone's body and brain are different and what may have worked for others may not work for you. But also because I believe in being skeptical of trends until you have tried them yourself. I never recommend anything that I haven't personally learned from, so this is exactly what I did. 

This summer was the perfect time for me to try out Rubin's pillars concept because I had just returned from a two-year travelling trip and was currently searching for work. Now, don't get me wrong, you can absolutely develop these habits whilst employed, but as someone with anxiety and who gets nervous about change, it was a positive for me not to have to worry about changes having a negative effect on my work.

It turned out these worries would have been completely unfounded because after practicing these habits every day (with a couple of special exceptions, nobody is perfect!) for 90 days, I have more energy, am more productive, feel more confident and satisfied in my ability to get things done and have MORE time to enjoy the things I love. 

So what are these magical life transforming areas? Keep reading. Also, in case you aren't aware, these things won't happen over night. Leading scientists and psychologists have identified that it takes our brains 30 days of consistent practice to change a habit long term. 

Today's post is all about implementing the first pillar which Rubin terms "Foundation":

What do we mean by foundation? Well according to Rubin, this encompasses four areas: sleep, eating and drinking, moving and de-cluttering. Setting your foundation is crucial to avoiding pit-falls later on so I have decided to explain each of these areas in more detail below:

- Sleep:  I know, I know you have probably heard this preached a million times before. There have been so many contradictory articles about how much sleep we need and in my opinion this is where everyone is different. I need a solid and consistent seven hours to feel energized, while my partner can happily survive on five hours sleep during the week and then makes up for it at weekends (I have no idea how he does this as most people find a consistent sleep habit to be much more beneficial). 

Despite our differences, we do live in a chronically sleep-deprived society. To achieve anything, we have to make some sacrifices, something humans aren't naturally good at (scientists have proven that our survival instincts make us innately selfish). 

We know that in order to wake up early, we will have to go to bed earlier. This is where most people fall down and to be honest with you, I did for a long time too. I had known for a few years that my sleep habits hadn't been great ever since I worked in a bar as a student. Especially if you are working full time or have kids, then these evenings may be the only time you get to yourself. Luckily, Rubin has identified why some of us find these 5am starts easier than others, and they are not compulsory, as long as you get the right amount of sleep. 

The idea of a "morning person" has been around for as long as I can remember but few of us have looked into this in terms of our habits. Rubin has identified two types of people, Larks and Owls. As you may have guessed, Owls are people that are most productive in the night hours, while larks are early risers and get their best work done in the first three-four hours that they're awake. Figuring out which hours of the day are most productive for you helps to make sure that your sleeping pattern is working for you. 

For example, if you are an owl, you may prefer to fall asleep at 11pm and rise at 7am, or, if you are a Lark (like me) you will probably find that forcing yourself to sleep at 9.30 so that you can rise at 5.30 and be productive in the morning, will leave you more energized for the rest of your day.

The reality is, sleep isn't the most exciting concept but once they begin to reap the benefits, most people become fiercely protective of their long slumbers. The fact is, while all of us would love to have more hours in the day, we need sleep!

Interestingly, Rubin also identified that the majority of chronically under-slept people had no idea they weren't getting enough sleep. Here are a few signs you might not be getting the amount you need. 

- Can you fall asleep anywhere, e.g. in cars, on daytime flights, or while you are waiting for something? If your brain can automatically slip into sleep mode like this, the chances are you aren't racking up your hours.

- Do you depend on highly caffeinated drinks like coffee and energy drinks to give you bursts? This is a clear sign that your brain is lagging in energy and would benefit from more sleep. Depending on artificial stimuli to drive your brain is not only unhealthy but unsustainable, like putting a plaster on a gaping wound.  

- You are HANGRY. One of the key reasons that sleep deprivation is more common in overweight or obese people is that sleep deprived people are far more likely to eat throughout the day. Why? Well, food is our body's fuel for energy. If the brain is feeling tired or low on energy, your body will crave not only more food but often foods high in sugar that will give you a quick boost but lead to long term weight gain.

- You're more impulsive or lacking in willpower - Ever heard the phrase "nothing good happens after 2am?". Exhausted people tend to not make good decisions and give in to temptation much more easily.

- Your memory and/or attention span is suffering? Getting enough sleep is essential for long term brain health and clears toxic molecules from your brain. This means that not getting enough can impair your nervous system. 

Assessing and transforming your sleep habits is one of the hardest yet best things you can do for yourself. Not only will it transform your health and productivity but without these adverse effects you will find it much easier to change other habits on your list. 

- Eating and Drinking: Another area where the media loves to contradict itself on what is good for us. However, there are certain things that we know our body needs in order to function well. Number one, most of us are not drinking nearly enough water, our bodies are made up of 75% water and if this is not replenished we end up dehydrated. Dehydration results in tiredness and lethargy, as well as headaches and other unpleasant effects. Despite knowing this, most people only drink when they are already thirsty. Instead of treating thirst we should be preventing it by drinking 2 liters of water a day. The easiest way to implement this is to get yourself a water bottle and keep it on you all day. You will be amazed. 

Secondly, while I hate the word diet, as it implies deprivation, which is a concept that I deem both ineffective and unhealthy, eating is still a crucial part of our lifestyle and the fuel that we put in our bodies matters. Imagine trying to run your car on fizzy drinks instead of petrol? Not only is this concept utterly ridiculous but it would most likely cause sever damage to your cars engine. 

Your brain is your bodies engine and your food is it's fuel, treat it right by eating a balanced diet that is high in proteins, good fats and fruit and vegetables and minimize refined carbohydrates and you will find your body is burning the right sources of energy, making your brain healthier, happier and more productive. 

- Moving. Exercise is my Achilles heel, I hate being sweaty, I don't have great stamina and I don't find deliberate exercise an enjoyable use of my time. However, since Rubin and pretty much every other wildly successful person has told us time and time again, exercise is critical for health and brain function. I still don't hold a gym membership or play sports but I have found simple (and some quirky) ways of making myself move more during the day.

- I go for lunchtime walks with my partner at weekends instead of driving to do simple errands. Not only does the focus of an errand give your walk a purpose but doing it with someone passes time, makes it enjoyable and it is an easy non-strenuous way to move more.

- I put music on and dance and sing whilst doing housework. Yes, I know this one sounds embarrassing but  it has really made a difference to me. Not only does the fast paced music speed up my chores and stop me taking tea breaks every five minutes, but by getting me moving faster and swishing my hips while hoovering or cleaning the kitchen, it gets my heart rate pumping and provides me with a gentle workout, while enabling me to conquer two birds (household chores and exercise) with one stone. 

- I banned lifts (or elevators if you're outside the UK). I make myself take the stairs. Not only is this often quicker as you bypass the queues of people waiting, climbing up one flight of stairs is an excellent resistance exercise that builds your stamina and wakes up your brain. 

- De-cluttering. 

I had to swallow my pride to admit this one as I was an extremely messy child and teenager and my parent's constantly tried to impress on me sayings like "tidy house, tidy mind". Naturally I thought it was all a trick to get me to clean my messy bedroom but as it turns out, mother does know best on this one!

If you have read my previous posts you will know that I recently adopted several aspects of minimalism into my life. Now I have my own house, I see how unnecessarily stressful mess is, and how it affects my mental clarity. Waking up to messy surroundings as opposed to clean and clear surroundings makes me irritable, gets me frazzled when I don't know where things are and wastes more of my time on things I don't enjoy. 

De-cluttering was one of the best things I did because the less clutter I own the easier and more effortless it is to maintain clean and comfortable surroundings as well as minimize the decisions you make in a day e.g. staring at a bursting wardrobe and feeling like you have nothing to wear because you are overloaded with options. I now have my favorite 5 work outfits which saves me so much time on weekday mornings (not to mention so much less laundry). 

As soon as I implemented this foundation of sleeping enough, eating and drinking better, moving more and decluttering I found it so much easier to say no to other habits I had been trying forever to avoid ,like snacking though the day, working in bed and not being as organised and energized as I wanted to be.

I'm still not perfect, I let myself slip back into Owl habits on the weekends so I can enjoy nights out with friends and lie in and I am still slightly addicted to anything chocolate and salted caramel. However when it comes to my concentration, motivation, productivity and overall satisfaction, the difference has been dramatic. My anxiety has reduced greatly, I feel more confident and effective at work because I get things done more efficiently and I am able to have my crucial me-time in the morning to sit down with a cup of tea and plan out my day in a relaxed way. 

These are things that six months ago seemed like distant daydreams. Create the right foundation and anything can happen.

Check in tomorrow to find out why "Monitering", the second pillar of habit building is so important. 

I hope you all have a happy, healthy and productive day and I will see you soon!

How Gratitude Will Improve Your Mindset For Change + 10 Exercises To Get You Started

Hello beautiful people!

Today I want to talk about a very simple concept but one that the majority of us forget to invoke in our day-to-day lives. If, like me, you are a personal development junkie then you have probably heard about the growing trend in gratitude journaling. 

So What Is Gratitude Journaling?

A gratitude journal is a free and easy way to improve your mindset and give yourself a perspective overhaul. You don't need to go out and buy a fancy journal to do so, you can do this in any notebook, smartphone or even on scrap paper. It is also something I find invaluable to take stock of before I begin any change in my habits.

The concept is simple. Take ten to fifteen minutes a day to think about the things in life you are grateful for. You may choose to note down anything from important relationships to the sun shining that day (or whatever weather makes you happy!). 

Gratitude journalling reminds us that even though we may have sources of stress or struggles going on in our daily lives (If you say you don't you are either a liar or a superhero and I need some of that power!). Furthermore, gratitude is one of the habits practised by some of the most successful people in the world including:

• Oprah Winfrey
• Tim Ferris
• Richard Branson
• and
• Paul DeJoria

It is also proven to:

• Make you physically and mentally healthier by decreasing levels of cortisol (the stress hormone)
• Improve Happiness
• Improve your relationships and social skills by increasing your empathy towards others
• Give you greater sleep quality
• Raise self-esteem
• Increase mental strength and resilience
• Reduce feelings of anger and aggression
• Give you Motivation to change

And the best part is ANYONE can do it,starting right now!

So now that we've established how gratitude can help you live a better life, here are some exercises to get you started from the serious to the downright silly, we have many aspects of life to be grateful for?

1.  What relationships do you have in your life that you are grateful for and how do these people add to your life?

2. What opportunities have you had that other's in the world would not have access to? Why are you grateful for these and how have they improved your life?

3. What parts of your job/work environment are you grateful for? Even if you're not a fan of your daily grind right now, you can still be grateful for good relationships with colleagues, development opportunities or flexibility, it might even be something as simple as having an inside office when it rains!

4. What part of your morning routine are you grateful for? Do you have a significant other to kiss goodbye as you leave for work? Maybe you have time to walk your dog or have a cup of tea in peace and cuddles with your children or pets before your day begins?

5. Think of someone who has done something to make your life easier or improve your day recently? How could you thank them?

6. What hobbies or pleasures do you have in your life? Why are you grateful to have the time to pursue them?

7. What elements of nature are you grateful for? Maybe you're like me and the warm glow of sunshine gets you out of bed in the morning? Or maybe you find the sound of rain or the site of snow relaxing?

8. What materialistic items could you not live with out? Why are you grateful to have them in your life?

9. What songs/ books/ podcasts/ movies or you-tube videos make you feel good? Think about why you are grateful to the people behind them.

10. What daily essentials are you grateful to have in your life? For example in the UK we have ample sources of food and water and free healthcare when we need it, this is not the case in many parts of the world. 

So there you have it, ten exercises to hopefully get you started on exercising those gratitude muscles. I hope you have a happy, healthy and productive week and I'll see you soon!